Life may be many things, but more than anything else, life is relating. If we don’t relate, we don’t live. It’s all relative to our attitude, whether positive or negative. The minute we relate, we live. When we are in destructive relationships, we are heading for a climax that is ultimately going to do away with the destructiveness. Kaboom. Further down the scale is the lackluster relationship that fizzles under a guise of false serenity. So even someone who relates negatively is living more than one who relates little. And absolutely no one relates not at all—for then they wouldn’t be alive.
Мы склонны связывать слово «отношения» только с взаимодействиями с другими людьми. Но это слово применимо абсолютно ко всему, включая идеи, а также неодушевленные предметы. Это также относится к нашим жизненным обстоятельствам, миру, в котором мы живем, нашим мыслям и отношениям. Мы можем относиться ко многим вещам, и в той мере, в какой мы это делаем, мы будем наслаждаться чувством удовлетворения, а не разочарования.
Огромен масштаб возможностей для отношений. Самым нижним на тотемном столбе является минерал. Вы можете подумать, что это вообще не имеет отношения, но это неправда. Поскольку он жив, он относится. Но поскольку это минерал, он не может иметь много общего. Его способ отношения ограничивается полной пассивностью. Минералом можно любоваться. У животного, напротив, гораздо больше смелости. Он активно реагирует на природу, других животных и людей.
Humans are highest on the scale of able-to-relate, which is a wider scale than most of us realize. The bottom rung of the human scale starts with the completely insane—the one in solitary confinement or who is locked up behind bars. These two aren’t so very far apart. They are living lives in inner and outer isolation, hardly able to relate to other people. Since such people are living, they must somehow continue to relate, but it is mostly to things, their space, their food, their bodies and maybe some art, or ideas or nature. It can be helpful to think about life from this perspective.
On the highest rungs of the ladder are the folks who are able to relate beautifully. They aren’t afraid of becoming deeply involved with others and don’t protect themselves against experiences or feelings. Also, they are able to love. They let themselves love. And in the end, loving requires a willingness and readiness to do so.
At this level, people are willing to love regardless of risk. They can love abstractly or concretely, and generally or personally. This doesn’t make such people saints or holier than thou. They may well be far from perfect. They will have faults and be wrong at times. And they have those pesky negative emotions too. But on the whole, they love. They aren’t afraid to get involved. Freed from their defenses, they are able to ride through occasional setbacks and have full and fruitful relationships.
So what about the rest of us who are somewhere in the middle—the average Jane or Joe?
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ТягаГлава 16: Life is Relationship
Прочитать исходный план® Лекция: # 106 Печаль против депрессии - Отношения
